Waiting
by mary-d1
Summary: Hermione learns what happens when you sit back and wait for destiny to find you.


Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related names and places are the legal property of J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury, and AOL Time Warner and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: I know. I promised to have HP & FF up soon, but this came to mind. I've found that I do much better writing one-shot fics. Seems I have an incredibly short attention span…imagine that! Well anyway, this is…well I'm not quite sure what it is…but it is. This is my second attempt at first person, but you guys seemed to have enjoyed _Molly's Apron Strings_, I thought I should take another crack at it! Enjoy!

* * *

Honestly, the thought had never crossed my mind. I'd had this great little plan in my head since I had decided that he was the one. You know, **_The One_**. Granted, I was twelve at the time, but I just knew.

My plan was to be the best friend for a few years, until I grew out of that "ugly-duckling" phase. Then, I would suddenly emerge as the beautiful girl who could capture a man's heart with just one look. It worked that way in movies after all…

Finally, during our fourth year, I thought my time had come. The Yule Ball was upon us. I stood in front of the mirror in my dormitory, actually liking what I saw for the first time. Tonight was my night.

I did hate using poor Viktor the way I did. Honestly, I'm not really that type of girl. I knew that _he_ would never ask me, and I simply couldn't show up without an escort. Besides if I've learned anything from my simpering roommates, it's that men generally want something that another man has.

Too bad my plan backfired. Somewhere during the night I had forgotten a crucial part of my plan and ended up rowing with him for half the night. So he never noticed the beautiful, poised, glimmering teeth me and we fell back into the _best friend _stage of my plan.

I lived each day waiting for the rest of my plan to unfurl. Year after year passed and we remained friends. I was far too scared to say anything myself. What if he only ever saw me as his brainy best friend? The girl who was great at catching you up on homework, revising essays, and coming up with the plans of action during times of crisis. The girl you took home as your best friend, not your one true love. I just knew the rejection would kill me. No, I had to wait for him to make the first move.

And wait I did. I waited all during our fifth year, then sixth, then seventh. I watched him date and dump girls. I watched him fall in and out of love as often as Harry lost his temper. Though it hurt to watch, I sat back and waited; waited for him to realize that his true love had been in front of him since the first day on the Hogwarts Express.

I loved him through everything. Winter, summer, peace, war, then peace again. We lost family and friends together. He held my hand as I buried my parents; I held his as he buried two of his brothers. We stood side by side giving everything we had to help Harry defeat Voldemort.

We left school and started on the paths would lead us through the rest of our lives. Even though we traveled in different directions, we remained close. I sat every night hoping that his next letter would finally declare his undying love. I waited in vain, however.

For the next few years, I continued on with life, never forgetting my plan. I dated other men, but it always ended quickly. I couldn't give my heart to anyone; it belonged to him. Besides, no one could measure up to the one person I compared all other men on earth to.

By the time I turned twenty-one, I knew that I was running out of time. I cursed myself for being so stupid and scared to tell him how I felt. I could never seem to gather the courage to take the biggest risk of my life.

A few days before my twenty-second birthday, I sat at a corner table in the Leaky Cauldron, waiting for him. He'd written to me saying that he was coming home from an assignment and needed to talk to me. His letter sounded urgent.

_"There's something I need to talk to you about. Please meet me."_

This was the moment I had been waiting for, I could just feel it. He would tell me that he's loved me for ten years, but was too afraid to tell me. He would say that being apart from me has made him realize that he can't wait any longer. I would say that I loved him too and we would begin the rest of our lives together.

I looked up as the door opened and see him enter. He brushes his shaggy fringe from his eyes and looks around. I laugh lightly because he's annoyed by the long hair, but refuses to give into his mother's pleadings to cut it off. Finally his eyes meet mine and he gives me the silly, lopsided smile that he's always reserved just for me.

I stand up and he pulls me into a hug. This is when I love being short. He pulls me into him, lifting me up so that my toes dangle several inches above the floor.

"Good to see you again, beautiful."

I giggle at the silly greeting he's always given me, but my heart swells at the sound of his voice. "Welcome home, handsome."

We're no longer the children who argue over the smallest trifles, but adults who have learned the true value of friendship. And soon we would add _true love_ to that…

I pull away and notice the blonde woman standing beside him, smiling nervously. Had she been there the whole time? Who was she?

"Hermione, this is Diana." Confused I reach out to take her hand. "Diana this is my best friend Hermione Granger."

Diana, yes I remember her. He's mentioned her several times in his letters. I was worried about her in the beginning, but he never made it seem serious. As I shake her hand, I feel something that makes my stomach contract. Something cold and hard on her finger, something like a ring. I look at him trying to keep my face neutral. He's fidgeting the way he always does when he's bursting to tell a secret. Without realizing it, I sit back down in my seat. They do the same and then I see it. A great, glittering diamond on her finger. "_Please, please don't be what I think you are!_", I silently will the ring.

Undoubtedly, he sees where my eyes have settled. "Hermione, there's something I need to tell you. I've wanted to for days now, but I just couldn't put it into a letter." He takes a deep breath and I feel the bile rising in my throat. "'Mione, Diana and I are getting married."

How long I sat in stunned silence, I'll never know. I've encountered some of the most terrifying things in this world, three headed dogs, basilisks, dozens of dementors, Death-Eaters, Voldemort; but not one of them made me feel as horrible as those simple words. I had lost my chance; I had been stupid and pathetic and had lost him forever.

"Hermione, did you hear me? I said I'm getting married; aren't you happy?"

I nod stupidly. What am I supposed to say now? All I can mange is "Congratulations." My voice sounds foreign to my ears. My head and heart are screaming, "No! Marry me! I love you!", but all I can do is sit and smile that sickly false smile.

"I know you're thinking I'm crazy, and maybe I am, but I love her. I know it seems sudden, but I figure if we're in love, why wait?"

Still smiling that horrible smile, I nod again. "Do…do…have you told…anyone…anyone else?"

He smiles brightly and another great wave of nausea rolls over me. I've loved that smile for ten years. Her voice brings me out of my thoughts.

"Ron said he wanted you to be the first to know."

He reaches across the table and takes my hands in his. The tears I'm struggling to hold back burn more fiercely. "You've always known me better than anyone; better than Harry, or Ginny, or even my parents. We've never kept secrets. I couldn't tell anyone before you, it didn't seem right." I found myself actually begging for death at this point. He leans closer and his blue eyes sparkle. "Besides, I figured if you didn't curse my sorry arse into the next century, maybe everyone else would be okay."

My mind was screaming, "No! I'm not okay with this!", but again my mouth betrays me. "Of course everyone will be okay. We all just want you to be happy."

* * *

I'm now thirty years old. I sit in a play park just outside of London watching my four godchildren play. Harry and Ginny's children, five year old Harmony and three year old Noah, are hiding from Natalie and Nathan, Ron and Diana's seven year old twins. I look down to the baby, Cara, playing in the sand at my feet. She is the youngest of Ron's children, a few days past her first birthday.

It's been eight years since that fateful day. For eight years I've stood by his side being the ever faithful best friend. I stood with him at his wedding, was truly honored when he and his wife asked me to be their children's godmother, and held his hand as he buried that same wife only last month.

Diana died after she was struck by a muggle car while trying to cross the street. She was only twenty-nine years old. I feel so guilty every time I think about her death. I've spent eight years envying her for living the life I wanted, for loving the man I loved. I almost feel as though I wished for her death.

I think about this every time I look into Ron's now empty eyes, and can't help but wonder if I could have prevented this. If I had protested against his engagement, would he have gone ahead with it? If I had confessed my love to him, would he have loved and married me? Would I be the one lying in a coffin, having been killed crossing the street to meet him for dinner?

Looking at my watch, I realize it's getting late. "Come on you lot; time to go home." Begrudgingly, Natalie and Nathan round up their cousins and lead them back to my car.

I see their unhappy faces as I fasten Cara into her seat. I know they dread going back to their house and seeing their heartbroken father. I wish there were more I could do.

After dropping Harmony and Noah off, we head to Ron's.

"Aunt Hermione?" Natalie calls from the back.

I look into the mirror and see those three faces. The twins look so much like him that it hurts me to look at them sometimes, both with vivid ginger hair and crystalline blue eyes. Cara is the striking image of her mother.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Are we ever going to see our mum again?"

Tears spring to my eyes. "Someday. Many, many years from now when you go to sleep forever, she'll be waiting for you on the other side." Ron told me that once when I asked him the same question about my parents.

Nathan squirms a bit, and then asks softly, "Will we get a new mummy someday?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well some kids get new mum and dads when one goes away forever. Will Daddy get us a new mum?"

"I don't know, darling. Maybe someday, if your daddy falls in love again."

There is silence for awhile, and then Natalie pipes up again. "Aunt 'Mione?"

"Yes?"

"How come you're not a mum?"

I can't help the small laugh that escapes. "Well, I've never married. I need to find someone who will love me, then get married, then have children."

I see the twins put there heads together and start whispering. I know this can't be good. They've learned far too much from their Uncles Fred and George.

"Aunt 'Mione." Nathan this time.

"Yes, darling?"

Would you be our new mum if Daddy fell in love with you?"

Stunned by the question, I have no idea what to say. In the end I simply smile back at them and shrug, thinking, "Someday I would like that. I would like that very much."

* * *

A/N: This story was originally inspired by the Beu Sisters' song "Crushed". When I began writing it, I had intended to go in one direction, but my brain and my hand protested and came up with this. Who am I to argue? Best not to anger them, anyway… Well, hope you like! R/R please, it makes me feel so warm inside!


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